I blame myself for deciding to read this and I know what I did. Even after reading two awesome negative reviews i still read it. Why….for fun and to just shake my head at the bullshit that this author lady wrote. And I regret it. I do. I regret reading it…but not laughing at this shit. I guess a spirit went inside of me and just told me to read it or something, because what the fuck did I just read? And then the constant happy stares from women and young girls!!I mean every single second a young woman or young girl would come up to me and ask: “OMG isn’t it awesome?” or “Isn’t it great?” or “How are you liking it so far?” I would just look at them and force a smile and answer: “Well..I don’t know. Why was this even published?” Yes, I really told them that and they would just give me this dirty look and say: “E.L. James is a great author so do not say that!”
Aheeemm: E.L. James is not an author. She writes horrible. Just because someone got their work published doesn’t mean they are an author. Clear??
I am being honest…all of this happened at Barnes and Nobles.
Now my friends that LOVE this “book”…don’t go on reading this. It’s going to be a short negative review where I am just going to say how horrible this was. In other words: “What the hell happened to the authors of the 21st century? Why isn’t L.M. Montgomery STILL alive or Charlotte Bronte?” What has gotten into women’s mind thinking that ABUSE is sex? Shit, the BDSM shouldn’t even be considered fucking BDSM.
Excuse me if my review comes out like total shit
I am not going to go write some LONG ass review because there are already plenty of those..but this is all I have to say:
-The writing is fucking horrible. I mean what the hell??? It’s fucking messy and when I read this “book” I would burst out laughing at the stupidity there is. I mean literally laugh out loud. I didn’t care that I was at Barnes and Nobles.
-The “sex” made me gag. It shouldn’t even be called sex…it should be called icky penetration(if that could even make sense). And the BDSM…don’t get me started. I mean if any women found the icky penetration a pleasure and you found yourself turned on then I don’t know what the fuck happened to you. I just found myself skipping pages of SEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXX because I was about to barf
-TWILIGHT. I could care less if you think that this has nothing to do with TWILIGHT. Umm…check again what you read and just find the similarities. Read the reviews and samples and maybe your question would be answered. I don’t get how some readers hated TWILIGHT and loved this. Obviously, I hated both.
-Anastasia. Could there be such a more annoying character as her. Was she supposed to be this strong character or something?? Because I found her annoying as hell and STUPID. Yes, stupid and whinny and I don’t know what else. I mean what virgin…let me just stop!!
-Christian Grey. FUCK YOU.
-There was no plot. Waiiitt..was I supposed to expect one?? Umm let’s see:
Of course..its just pages glued together explaining how Grey is an abusive bastard who supposedly likes Anastasia or loves her or whatever the fuck it was meant to be and they have SEEEEEEXXXXX: WAIT!! Icky Penetration.
-And then the germs. I am glad this was fictional because Christian Grey did not clean any of those “tools” he used…its just uggghh..disgusting. I don’t even know how to explain it. Pss..the tampon part…who the FUCK does that. Oh I know…don’t you see my hand? A bastard who is mentally sick…ladies and gentlemen: OUR CHARMING CHRISTIAN GREY.
-Why?? Why?? Why?? Why, was this published?? I feel bad for the husbands that have wife’s that sleep with them and the wife is thinking it’s Grey who they are having sex with.
-Some of the things that were written were just pure bullshit. I also feel extremely bad for the young girl’s that are in middle school that are already reading this. I REALLY DO.
Was it necessary to be made into a movie?? I mean really people?? Wait I forgot: There are women who are going to watch this to be able to see how having sex with Grey will be. To just feel that pleasure and wishing it was her rather than Anastasia. And did I hear that its going to be NC-17 and they are going to make an R-rated version too incase the sex is too graphic? HA! Why don’t you just go to a porn website and publish it. I am sure it will go viral..like if that is going to make a difference. Oh and how fucking hilarious that its coming out on Valentine’s Day….i wonder what guy with his girlfriend is going to see this…a bored guy with a horny girl. Lol..on Valentines Day….this is not A ROMANCE STORY, ITS AN ABUSIVE SICK STORY. And how “sexy” that the guy playing Grey is going to be naked. Not just showing his ass but everything. Of course that will happen…I don’t care if you think that’s hot but to me that’s just DISGUSTING. The poor guy said he feels totally comfortable doing this. Ohhh and the girl playing Anastasia will be naked too…how cute! I feel bad for this generation and whatever happened to the good old movies.
Of course I am not going to read the other books. I am just going to finish Lord of The Rings which is beautiful and a BESTSELLER too..but only because J.R.R. Tolkien is a true author and writes beautifully.
Final final thoughts(i added two finals on purpose):
The reason why women LURV this shit(this book just puts the word literature on shame)? Because the idea of a blue eyed RICH guy tying you up smacking your ass and doing BDSM and icky penetration on you sounds hot and pleasurable. What about now?? Did that sound hot?? I am still sure some of you will still get turned on. I think James must have been in drugs when she wrote this.
Hate me or whatever but this is the worst books I have ever read. EVER!!
The only good thing about this?? I was smart enough to not buy it. But not smart enough to read it….lol
ZERO STARS! I just hope the awesome Elves and Hobbits help me to make my mind more cleaner and happy. Now off with Frodo again.