Book review!!!Does not deserve to mention the Title…Read on if you want but be warned….

This review will not be proper but rather a negative piece of writing. 
Book: You will find out as you read on.
Quick note: I wrote this review a while back in Goodreads and it caused a lot of discussion. Anyways there is some profanity and inappropriate words and material, since I really did not like this book at all and the book is inappropriate and disgusting. My review is pretty LONG…lol…you will see what I mean.If you are interested read on!
I LOVEDD THIS…NOT. UGGHH…WHAT DID I JUST DO?? *hits herself on the head*Fifty Shades:
You really are. Even my cute Frodo said it. He also doesnt understand how you are even a bestseller. DAMN!description
Frodo decided to say no more because this book offended his Hobbit mind. I feel bad for him :/. But who can blame him.I am at a book store right now and I simply just decided to read this..not buy it. Just sit in one of the Barnes and Nobles little café tables with my laptop and read this “oh so glorious” book that everyone LOVES. And let me just say something:


I blame myself for deciding to read this and I know what I did. Even after reading two awesome negative reviews i still read it. Why….for fun and to just shake my head at the bullshit that this author lady wrote. And I regret it. I do. I regret reading it…but not laughing at this shit. I guess a spirit went inside of me and just told me to read it or something, because what the fuck did I just read? And then the constant happy stares from women and young girls!!I mean every single second a young woman or young girl would come up to me and ask: “OMG isn’t it awesome?” or “Isn’t it great?” or “How are you liking it so far?” I would just look at them and force a smile and answer: “Well..I don’t know. Why was this even published?” Yes, I really told them that and they would just give me this dirty look and say: “E.L. James is a great author so do not say that!”

Aheeemm: E.L. James is not an author. She writes horrible. Just because someone got their work published doesn’t mean they are an author. Clear??

I am being honest…all of this happened at Barnes and Nobles.

Now my friends that LOVE this “book”…don’t go on reading this. It’s going to be a short negative review where I am just going to say how horrible this was. In other words: “What the hell happened to the authors of the 21st century? Why isn’t L.M. Montgomery STILL alive or Charlotte Bronte?” What has gotten into women’s mind thinking that ABUSE is sex? Shit, the BDSM shouldn’t even be considered fucking BDSM.

Excuse me if my review comes out like total shit


I am not going to go write some LONG ass review because there are already plenty of those..but this is all I have to say:

-The writing is fucking horrible. I mean what the hell??? It’s fucking messy and when I read this “book” I would burst out laughing at the stupidity there is. I mean literally laugh out loud. I didn’t care that I was at Barnes and Nobles.


-The “sex” made me gag. It shouldn’t even be called sex…it should be called icky penetration(if that could even make sense). And the BDSM…don’t get me started. I mean if any women found the icky penetration a pleasure and you found yourself turned on then I don’t know what the fuck happened to you. I just found myself skipping pages of SEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXX because I was about to barf


-TWILIGHT. I could care less if you think that this has nothing to do with TWILIGHT. Umm…check again what you read and just find the similarities. Read the reviews and samples and maybe your question would be answered. I don’t get how some readers hated TWILIGHT and loved this. Obviously, I hated both.

-Anastasia. Could there be such a more annoying character as her. Was she supposed to be this strong character or something?? Because I found her annoying as hell and STUPID. Yes, stupid and whinny and I don’t know what else. I mean what virgin…let me just stop!!

-Christian Grey. FUCK YOU.

-There was no plot. Waiiitt..was I supposed to expect one?? Umm let’s see:


Of course..its just pages glued together explaining how Grey is an abusive bastard who supposedly likes Anastasia or loves her or whatever the fuck it was meant to be and they have SEEEEEEXXXXX: WAIT!! Icky Penetration.

-And then the germs. I am glad this was fictional because Christian Grey did not clean any of those “tools” he used…its just uggghh..disgusting. I don’t even know how to explain it. Pss..the tampon part…who the FUCK does that. Oh I know…don’t you see my hand? A bastard who is mentally sick…ladies and gentlemen: OUR CHARMING CHRISTIAN GREY.

-Why?? Why?? Why?? Why, was this published?? I feel bad for the husbands that have wife’s that sleep with them and the wife is thinking it’s Grey who they are having sex with.

-Some of the things that were written were just pure bullshit. I also feel extremely bad for the young girl’s that are in middle school that are already reading this. I REALLY DO.

Final thoughts:

Was it necessary to be made into a movie?? I mean really people?? Wait I forgot: There are women who are going to watch this to be able to see how having sex with Grey will be. To just feel that pleasure and wishing it was her rather than Anastasia. And did I hear that its going to be NC-17 and they are going to make an R-rated version too incase the sex is too graphic? HA! Why don’t you just go to a porn website and publish it. I am sure it will go if that is going to make a difference. Oh and how fucking hilarious that its coming out on Valentine’s Day….i wonder what guy with his girlfriend is going to see this…a bored guy with a horny girl. Lol..on Valentines Day….this is not A ROMANCE STORY, ITS AN ABUSIVE SICK STORY. And how “sexy” that the guy playing Grey is going to be naked. Not just showing his ass but everything. Of course that will happen…I don’t care if you think that’s hot but to me that’s just DISGUSTING. The poor guy said he feels totally comfortable doing this. Ohhh and the girl playing Anastasia will be naked too…how cute! I feel bad for this generation and whatever happened to the good old movies.

Of course I am not going to read the other books. I am just going to finish Lord of The Rings which is beautiful and a BESTSELLER too..but only because J.R.R. Tolkien is a true author and writes beautifully.

Final final thoughts(i added two finals on purpose):

The reason why women LURV this shit(this book just puts the word literature on shame)? Because the idea of a blue eyed RICH guy tying you up smacking your ass and doing BDSM and icky penetration on you sounds hot and pleasurable. What about now?? Did that sound hot?? I am still sure some of you will still get turned on. I think James must have been in drugs when she wrote this.

Hate me or whatever but this is the worst books I have ever read. EVER!!

The only good thing about this?? I was smart enough to not buy it. But not smart enough to read it….lol

ZERO STARS! I just hope the awesome Elves and Hobbits help me to make my mind more cleaner and happy. Now off with Frodo again.


22 thoughts on “Book review!!!Does not deserve to mention the Title…Read on if you want but be warned….

  1. Haha. 🙂
    Remember last time I told you that women’s idolizing Marilyn Monroe is a sign that the world is doomed? Well,50 Shades of Grey is the fastest selling paperback of all time!! As a reader of classics who has read many gems,I can only regret seeing this.

    Many people believe their sexual arousal,after reading 50 Shades of Grey,to be the result of E.L.James’ beautiful writing and not the effect of reading pages of pornography.

    The audience for this book generally consists of stupid young girls or stupid women.For instance,I knew this girl who never read books,loved flirting with tons of boys and was so dumb as not to know the difference between wander and wonder.Well,one day,she put a banner of 50 Shades of Grey as the cover of her Facebook profile and she was all like: ”Ah if only Christian Grey could exist!” Apparently she liked the book.

    I think the appeal of the book lies in the fact that it breaks so many taboos at once.Otherwise it is crap.I mean,is there any difference between a porn novel and the 50 Shades Saga? And how low women have fallen.They keep saying that they are not on the same pedestal as men,are treated unequally,etc etc.But they love a book in which a woman is being sexually mistreated and treated like sh*t ; what’s up with her drinking sperm and walking with a toy in her anus? The funny thing is that a couple once actually agreed to behave like Anastacia and Grey,with the woman being the former and the husband,the latter.After some sessions,the woman didn’t like being mistreated and went on to sue her partner.But the latter was unscathed as there was an agreement contract in which was the woman’s signature.

    All in all,50 Shades of Grey is a poor piece of writing.I really cannot believe E.L.James has made so much money from it.As I said the only plausible reason is that it is very provocative and very pornographic in nature.Porn for instance is legal but nobody would watch it in public and few would admit watching it.As for this book,people can read it in public and even tell others they like it.It is especially popular with those narrow-minded people who have had very severe and strict parents.Reading this book is like: ”Yay,I’m finally breaking the rules! In front of my parents,in front of everybody!” And people feel wrong watching porn but they don’t when reading this.

    Btw,I thought you hated Twilight.Why are you then in Team Jacob? :p


    • Don’t say you’re sorry. I am actually glad you wrote down your thoughts.

      Now where do I begin…hehe 😀

      It is true what you said about people getting sexual arousal because of what they read not becuase of the way James wrote it. Since its sex all over the place and this world is sick , all they think about is sex they think this book is one of the best books ever. Yeah, hell no.

      Now the audience is stupid for reading the book like I was 😀 but I don’t think the women are actually stupid. But it is true, some of them are extremely dumb and since they have never read any REAL book they think 50 shades is like the best book ever. Wrong!

      True true. I was just mad at how she freaking made Anastasia be this toy for the stupid Grey guy. And those stupid women who fight for women’s right and they still liked this. People are just dumbasses (excuse my language)

      50 shades made money because its sex! uggh..there was no life lesson in this or some great message that could make the reader realize something. No, it was just sex and sexxxxx. Porn all over, only in words and pages.The thing is I know you don’t believe in God and I do. What does that say about me or Christians huh? But I least I already know not to read this crap EVER again. And since its a book people can just carry it around wherever they go not feeling ashamed.

      I don’t like Twilight but the Jacob guy seems hot from movies,lol so I just put that. But I should change it right? hehe 🙂

      Thanks for commenting, Yazmin


  2. Yazmin, LOVE the way you write!! Speaking of which, I came here to say thank you for your support of my article I wrote at The Talking Violin, regarding cellphones on planes. It really meant a lot to me!! (((HUGS))) Amy


  3. Totally agree with you, Yazmin. It’s sloppy writing. The book opens with the biggest cliche of all time: heroine looking in mirror describing herself. But it’s the sheer unbelievability that got me. What US college student these days is (a) a virgin (b) doesn’t have a laptop?


  4. I have never read this book and have no intention of reading it, but even though I may be a man, I would 100% agree with you that this is a pathetic disgusting book. It’s disgraceful that so many women are hyping it up and fantasising about having a tryst with this Mr. Gray. It just goes to show how off-kilter and degenerated this world has become. A huge disservice to the world of literature. I am just so surprised that so many women are buying and enjoying it. Surely the way Anastasia gets treated must put them off. I don’t know…

    Thanks for your review,



  5. Omg, you are so right! It’s a shame on the world of literature. Of course it is not a bad thing if they have sex in on or a few scenes in a book. But if the whole book is about it, then I don’t see the value of that piece of literature – no wait, I refuse to consider it as literature so I will just say piece sof toilet paper in the form of a book. And I also totally agree with the first comment. Women always complain about men being such sexists and watching porn and stuff. But when it comes to reading a book which is full with sexist acts and treatings, everything is fine. And when I or a smart man for example would consider these women as stupid for reading such trash, it would be sexist too. This makes me so angry! The only reason I would read this book would be in order to write a diss-post and offend every woman in this planet for reading this!
    I have already seen the movie poster and had to laugh. Although I think that pornographic movies are easier to bare, I would never ever spend money to watch this in the cinema. I love Jamie Dornan (who plays Grey), and think that he is utterly hot, but I found him hot before 50 shades. Now I can see how every little teenage girl and dumb woman will hype him for that movie… -.-


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